Late December damp Tuesday and everyone I see needs love
and hot lunch. Soon a man from the future will stop you on the street,
and tell you the future is hunky dory. Soon you will find out why
they call it the Garden State. In the meantime, I love your
new reindeer sweater! This is all just to say please save me
from myself. I once shoplifted some golfballs from Target
and I didn’t even golf (still don’t) which goes to show you what
we’ll do to find a little excitement in that category, to avoid
that shaky feeling, something like tenderness, something like sitting
still and paying attention to all the crazy shit happening right behind
my face. I know you understand the care I take to stay this handsome,
the honey- and goose-based products, the wallet-size milk packets
from Wisconsin. I’ve tried them all. I suppose I’m what you’d call
a “cult celebrity.” Imagine the grooming costs for the really famous.
I’m counting on your understanding in these times ahead.
I’ll meet you in the future.